They make me sick.
Nothing but I-wish-I-was-still-at-university, pyjama-wearing, lazy freaks.
How dare they expect to charge the rates they do when they don’t even have an office!?
The pandemic saw loads of these new creatures surface, and a lot of them (at first glance) can appear to be excellent value and get you unheard of returns on your investment.
But just in case you are thinking about it, here are five reasons not to hire a freelancer.
Let’s get this over with.
1. Freelancers are too invested in your results
The biggest problem with freelancers is they really want you to do well.
See, their success and their ability to effectively promote themselves depends on the results they get you, so whereas you’ll pay a big agency and they’ll wish you on your merry way, freelancers will:
- Check in to find out if what they wrote is performing
- Ask if they can do anything to make your life even easier
- Or suggest things they can do to make your results even better.
It’s so annoying!
The job is done. So leave me alone.
I’ll tell you when I’m in the sh*t and need rescuing again.
2. Freelancers bring too many ideas to the table
Another problem with freelancers is they’ll spend ages coming up with lots of new ideas to make your business ‘even better’.
Sometimes… SOMETIMES… they’ll even have the cheek to tell you what you’ve specifically asked for isn’t the best thing for you.
How dare they?
You know your business better than anyone! What do they know?
Granted, you’re not a marketing expert, but that doesn’t matter. Your ideas are as good as any and you know best.
When you hire an employee, they will do exactly what you ask for without so much as a whisper back. They’ll never challenge your ideas!
Just what you want, right?
3. Freelancers will bother you more than you bother them
What happened to the good old days where you logged a ticket with your agency and had a good four/five days to expect a reply?
That’s 72 rounds of golf you could get in before you had to be reminded your website isn’t working.
Freelancers are so annoyingly flexible they’ll fix your issues before you’ve even got your clubs in the boot of your Jag!
And what’s more, they’ll probably notice there’s something wrong before you do and call you.
Again, how annoying.
4. You can’t make freelancers do what you want
Unlike having someone employed full time, you can’t really give freelancers orders.
This is not what you want, at all.
Breathing down your employees’ necks is the best part of your job, and you’ll not give that up for anything.
True, not having freelancers on your books means you won’t have to pay for their sick days, pensions and holidays.
(You do hate paying for all that for your staff.)
BUT – freelancers are far too free-spirited for your liking.
And if you can’t see them doing the job for yourself, how do you know it’s been done properly?
5. Freelancers aren’t loyal
Don’t listen to anyone who says it’s a positive that freelancers may have experience working with businesses very similar to yours – that’s not true.
Yes, they’ll have an in-depth knowledge of what works for businesses in your industry, but the whole world is your competition. Just think about all the secrets they’ll give away!
Besides, freelancers are too thick and small-time to understand what an NDA is so even if they sign one, don’t trust them one bit.
You need someone in-house on a watertight contract.
Just in case…
… the sarcasm was lost on you, everything above was a joke.
Hiring a good freelancer can be one of the best investments you make in your business, precisely for all the reasons listed above.
Before you go diving in head first, make sure you read my ultimate guide to hiring a copywriter because there’s one or two things you have to consider that you might not have thought of.
And if you’ve got any questions, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org